Perhaps we believe that someone else’s wrongs against us are insurmountably offensive. Maybe we’re holding a scorecard that tells a story of how we should win and they should lose. I do this from time to time and can I ask; Is it me or are these scorecards incredibly heavy? Just thinking about holding one, reading the story over and over and tallying the numbers in my favor makes my arms want to drop to my sides in exhaustion.
It might be that your wound is fresh, or at least it seems that way, and you have plenty of energy to hold that scorecard and even yell the results to anyone that will listen. You might even still be filling in the details of your card. Can I ask “Where is this game going?” If the game is over and we’re left hurting over the results, what do we do with it?
Do we try to forgive and forget? For those of you that may think that this is a Biblical command, it is not. To forget, even in the loosest interpretation of the word, would set us up to be a doormat. I don’t believe that forgiving is wiping the slate completely clean so that we enable the broken ones in our lives to hurt us and themselves again. Also, forgiving isn’t letting a hurtful event slip into a seldom used corner of our minds only to trip and fall over it later in such a way that is debilitating and paralyzing.
But, what if we took an inventory of those old scorecards that we can’t seem to stop checking in on, took a deep breath, and really looked at them? Do they tell the story of who you are today or have you grown? Are you aware that the past doesn’t have to tell the story of tomorrow? As freeing as the end result might be, will it take work? Who or what should we forgive?